Welcome back to another round of Sound Retirement Radio.
Today is my birthday, and for the last Couple of weeks I’ve been writing down reflections, what I’ve learned along the way, this journey to age 50. And so today I’m going to share with you some of those things, but as always, let’s get things started right by renewing our mind.
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440 Reflections at 50: What I’ve Learned Along The Way
Announcer: Welcome back, America, to Sound Retirement Radio, where we bring you concepts, ideas, and strategies designed to help you achieve clarity, confidence, and freedom as you prepare for and transition through retirement. And now, here is your host, Jason Parker.
Jason Parker: America, welcome to another round of Sound Retirement Radio.
So glad to have you tuning into this episode. Today is my birthday, and for the last Couple of weeks I’ve been writing down reflections, what I’ve learned along the way, this journey to age 50. And so today I’m going to share with you some of those things, but as always, let’s get things started right by renewing our mind.
And I’ve got a verse here for us from 1 Thessalonians 5, 16 through 18. Rejoice always. Pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. They say 50 is the new 40, except for your knees. They didn’t get the memo. At 50, your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Well, welcome to 50, where every time you bend down, you ask yourself, Is there anything else I need while I’m down here? Turning 50, turning 50 means you’ve reached that magical age where late night is anything past 8 30 PM and waking up at 4 AM while it’s just a given. I can’t believe I’ve actually hit the big five.
Oh. And I was pretty sure that my wife would have taken me out long before I made it this far. But not only am I still here, but in a few months, we’ll be celebrating 28 years of marriage. To mark this milestone birthday, I decided to write a list of things that I’ve learned up to this point in my life.
And I’m writing as if I were speaking to my kids. Before I share what I’ve learned, let me be clear. Very few of these insights are unique to me. These are simply the truths I find myself believing and sharing with those around me. I don’t have life all figured out, nor do I want to sound like I don’t make mistakes.
In fact, if there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that I have a lot more to learn, and I often learn the best through my mistakes. So I fully expect to make plenty more in the years ahead. So with that intro, let’s get to it.
Communicating with sarcasm is rarely funny and not an effective means of communicating.
Fear and opportunity feel the same.
You were born on purpose, for a purpose. God has a plan for your life.
The Pareto Principle says that 80 percent of the outcomes are the result of 20 percent of the causes. I found this to be true with relationships. A few people in my life are connectors. My dad, my wife, and my friend and mentor, Dean. All the best parts of life are a result of relationships. When you identify the connectors in your life, those responsible for most of the relationships, Protect them, cherish them, spend time with them. They are the wellspring of life.
The formula for success in business is easy. Help as many people get what they want, and you’ll get everything you want.
Vision. How do you envision the future? Where there is no vision, the people will perish.
Sin will take you further than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost you more than you wanted to pay.
Life is better when you get to versus have to, and you get to choose if you get to or have to do something.
Satan’s goal is to take your mind, then your heart, then your family, then your career, and ultimately he wants to get you all alone and isolated so he can try to take your life.
Worry is a waste of imagination.
No matter how much you jog, you can’t outrun a bunch of donuts. Healthy is both diet and exercise.
Seek and you will find. Be careful what you look for, you might find it. Seek skepticism and find it. Seek belief and you’ll find it. It’s best to seek first the kingdom of God.
We are all interconnected. When you understand this, you will find it, it is when the great commandment of love God with all of your heart, mind, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself really makes sense.
To stop a bad habit, you need to replace it with a new good habit.
Depression can be the result of focusing on self. The cure is to serve people.
The Lord is good for his promises. His love is never ending. His mercy and forgiveness are always available, no matter what you’ve done. His joy is ours when we repent.
It’s better to follow Jesus than to lead men.
The richness of life is being in relationships with people. All the best things come from relationships.
The moment I really understood how interconnected we are is when my children were born, everything we do impacts the world our kids will inherit. And this must be why Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. And I think that there’s an order of operations in the commandment. If you don’t start by loving God and you just skip to loving your neighbor, you can’t really know what love is.
A major difference between those who become successful versus those who remain unsuccessful is how they see their own story. Either you believe that life happened to you and you use it as an excuse to be stuck, or you believe that life is happening for you. Our struggle makes us stronger. Just don’t quit.
I was watching the Olympics when an ice skater fell. Everyone in the room gasped. They felt bad for her. And that is the moment that I realize the world is for us. They want to see us win. And when we fall, they cheer when we stand back up and try again. Just keep going. Don’t quit. We’re all cheering for you.
When you find yourself starting to worry, realize that your thoughts have drifted too far into the future. I like to imagine that I have a rope and lasso my thoughts and bring them back to today. Do not worry about tomorrow. It has enough trouble of its own or he lives in the future.
The best defense I’ve found to protect my mind is to memorize scripture. It becomes my meditation, my anthem, my breath, my rest.
God is a loving father who wants the best for you. He loves you so much that he gave his one and only son to die with arms stretched out so that when we ask dad, how much do you love me? He shows us his son with arms stretched out and he says this much. So don’t forget.
Poor people see the reason things won’t work. They are experts in finding everything that can go wrong. They like to start the sentence with the problem is. I know the language of the poor because I spoke it for far too long. Wealthy people look for how to make it work. They see challenges as opportunities. I’ve been both. Choose words wisely.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Stay focused on the majors, not the minors.
No matter how much money I make, it’s always been hard for me to give some of it away. But when I do give it away, it allows me to see how God is working. He is faithful. But why is it so hard for me to be faithful?
Before getting frustrated with people, try to ask them their story. A little perspective can change how we feel about others.
I don’t run because I have to, I run because I get to.
Vacations all seem too expensive at the time that you’re booking them. But afterwards, I can never remember the cost. But I cherish the memories and the photos.
Be more concerned with what God thinks of you than what people think about you.
It’s good to keep a journal of all the good things in life. It’s especially important to write down the things that you love about the people in your life. It will change your heart, and someday, it will be all that they have to remember about you. Ink is greater than memory. Choose to keep a record of what’s right.
Dollars are make believe, they won’t survive a thousand years from now.
Don’t be the person with all the answers. Be the person who asks a better question. Ask better questions. Listen more.
Your mistakes don’t disqualify you as long as you learn from them. They will empower you. They will prepare you.
We become what we think about. Thoughts are like seeds that we plant in a garden. If we fill our minds with good thoughts, we will produce good crops. If we fill our minds with negativity, we will produce a negative life. Be careful what you think about. Take every thought captive. Don’t allow others to fill your thoughts with anything that is not life giving.
We find what we’re looking for. Seek and you will find. So if we seek God, we’ll find him. If we seek disbelief, skepticism, and cynicism, we’ll find it. Seek and you will find.
When you wear sunglasses that have a purple tint, everything looks purple. Take off one set of glasses and put on a different color and everything looks different. Be careful which glasses you look through. Put on a new set of glasses. See things from a new perspective. Choose your world view wisely.
Running keeps me healthy. When I feel like I’m getting a cold or an illness coming on, I run. And I swear that the fresh air, increased blood flow, endorphins kick in, my immune system kicks into gear, and I don’t get sick. And I think it’s because of my running.
Look for the best in others, and when you see it, be sure to let them know.
Encouragement builds people. Expectations about others takes our contentment. Encourage, don’t expect.
If you could choose only one, which would it be? Honorable or happy? You can have both, but only if you get the order of operations right.
Money is make believe, which is easy to say when you have some. When you don’t have it, it’s almost as important as oxygen.
The greater your assignment, the greater the resistance. The greater your mission, the greater the attacks. The greater your influence, the bigger the target on your back. Pray for our leaders.
There is a chasm between the man you are and the man you were born to be. And Jesus is the bridge.
A mentor is the fastest path to success.
Find someone who has what you want, do what they do, and you’ll get what they’ve got.
Be in a mastermind or a small group. There is energy, creativity, camaraderie, accountability, encouragement. Where two or more gather in my name, I am there. God loves community.
How do I define success? Well done, good and faithful servant.
Ask who, not how.
The bigger man apologizes first.
Become successful, not for the things that you can have, but for the person you will need to become.
Debt is so easy to accumulate, and so incredibly hard to pay off.
Everything you need to know about how to live a good life can be found in the Bible.
The best things in life are not easy, but they’re worth it.
Don’t ask for life to be easier. Ask that you can be stronger. Don’t ask that life was easier. Ask that you can be better.
Actions have consequences. Throw a rock into a pond and see the ripple effect. It’s hard to see all the ripples. All the consequences.
All things are created twice. First, a mental creation, then a physical. It all starts with thought.
If you look good, you are good.
All men will experience pain. The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The pain of discipline weighs an ounce and the pain of regret weighs a ton.
Managing investments is easy. Managing emotions is hard.
Sometimes it’s better to be quiet than right.
Forgiveness from God is instant. As soon as we confess and repent. But healing begins when we confess to another person. The light is greater than the darkness.
There is a level of intimacy and love that most people will never know, because it is born out of commitment.
Be a good finder. Make it your mission to look for the best in others.
The best giving that we have ever done was direct to a person in need, and it was anonymous.
Drugs, alcohol, smoking, and pornography offer short term gain and long term pain. They are destructive and should be avoided at all costs. Don’t play around with them, not even in moderation. They have the power to ruin your life and destroy your relationships.
Being married to Rebecca has been the greatest joy of my life. All the truly best relationships all stem from this one relationship.
One day I was driving home with Dean and it was raining. In my mind I was irritated with more rain. I was focused on the rain hitting the windshield. Then Dean said, look how green those trees are. How can we both look out the same window and see something different? Whatever we focus on is where our life goes.
Hiking in the whole rainforest. I saw a nurse log for the first time and it made me think about living and how even in death we support the next generation
with income, you have two options, number one, at the beginning of every month, you get to tell it where it’s going to go, or number two, at the end of every month, you’re going to ask where it all went. And until you learn number one, you will never have enough.
I have a great family and friends, and I love you so much. You really make my life awesome.
The earth is traveling through space at 67, 000 miles per hour around the sun. In 50 years, I’ve traveled approximately 29 billion miles. I’ve lived 18, 262 days, and if average life expectancy is 76, I have approximately 9, 496 days remaining. 9, 496 pennies is $94. 96 And I’ve been asking the people close to me, my friends and family, what’s the most important thing that they’ve learned in their life?
Here are a couple of them.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Relationships.
It’s not about me.
Trust God. He will provide.
People suck
and take it all in before making a judgment.
Relationships,
hard work works,
transcend beyond stuff.
God is sovereign.
Take time to process everything. Respond based on my values and the significance of each issue. I’ve wasted too much of my life focusing on minor trivial things. Relationships matter. If there’s friction between me and others, I want to focus on the relationship, not the issue.
Life is meant to be done with other people.
I look forward to updating this list when I get to 60. Hopefully I have a lot more things to share with you.
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Investing involves risk. Jason Parker is the president of Parker Financial, LLC, an independent fee based wealth management firm located at 9230 Bayshore Drive NW, Suite 201, Silverdale, WA. For additional information, call 360 337 2701 or visit us online at soundretirementplanning. com.
